Four hundred and seventeen years ago, a band of Spartan musicians were fleeing up the Tigris river, hotly pursued by an angry Persian orchestra. At last, in desparation, they turned into the dreaded Mountains of Carduchia. There, after surviving an encounter with the notorious squirrels of Carduchia, they entered a small highland valley. Unbeknownst to them, they had unwittingly entered the Valley of Falling Pianos. No-one knows exactly where these pianos come from, one theory is that these are quantum pianos which spontaneously appear out of nothingness to fall on hapless travellers below. Be that as it may, our heroes did write a song about this rather strange and dangerous place. This is NOT that song!